The Next Chapter (or, how a train ride in Tokyo changed my life)

Daruma is a small and stout Japanese doll made out of paper mache. When the dolls are first purchased, their oval eyes are a white blank slate. The owner fills in one eye as they set a goal, the second upon completing it.

This is my Daruma, purchased in Tokyo on a solo trip in December 2008. It’s not just a token of my travels – it’s symbolic of the change in life direction I experienced there.

I was on the train to Narita, heading home after 20 days in India and Japan. On that train ride, I took inventory of my life and the changes I experienced that year, including a new job in a new city and a pending, painful divorce.

Suddenly, I could see so clearly what had eluded me for so long…

I was not meant to have that life. I was not meant to walk that path.

I released the dream; along with it went the feelings of hurt and fragmentation and uncertainty. Feelings of confidence, determination and strength flooded in.

I came back to Canada armed with a determination to live life on my own terms – I was no longer going to put off the experiences I wanted to have, the things I wanted to achieve, because of what others might think. I was no longer willing to sideline my desires in favour of someone else’s. I was going to put my needs, my dreams first. Dreams that had been awakened after years of dormancy, roused by thousands of miles underneath my feet.

It was the first time in a long time that I remember feeling that I knew exactly what I wanted.

When I arrived home in downtown Vancouver, my front step was blanketed in snow. Jetlag stopped me from sleeping, so I sat up and watched snowflakes falling outside my window. Armed with a Sharpie pen, I pulled out my Daruma doll. As I filled in one black pupil, I visualized my goal and set my intention: to live and work in another country.

The seed was planted. And today, after two years of saving, planning and hard work, it has blossomed.

My boxes are stored, apartment rented. My backpack is at the ready. I depart March 7 for the United Kingdom on a working holiday visa. Where I will live, work and settle is uncertain. But I am open to any experience that comes my way. It is my hope that meeting this opportunity with an open heart will deliver me the best possible experience.

This blog will document my journey as it unfolds. Will you come along with me?

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